U.F.O.'s and Oil Spills

Professor mentioned that there was a UFO sighting in China a couple of weeks ago. How did this relate to Kantian ethical theories again? Whatever. One classmate then followed up with a detailed account of the story. [Author's note: Thank you for stalling.] In his own words, "There was a UFO sighting in China two weeks ago!"

The response to which Smartie proceeded by saying, "That's what caused the oil spill in the Gulf!" ZOMG! Why didn't we think of that? Thanks for solving our mystery, Smartie. BP, all charges have now officially been dropped. Now time to find those humanoids! Where were they again? 33 million light-years away? Okay, we've got a lead.

Are You Smarter than a 5th Grader?

While explaining to the class the different types of definitions there are - I thought I learned this in 5th grade. I guess the rest of the country didn't - the professor next wrote on the board, "theoretical." For reasons I can't explain, he asked the class, "Now what word do you see in 'theoretical?'" Seconds later, a girl a few rows back shouted out, "THEORY!!!" as if she were on a game show. Perhaps, Fox's, "Are you smarter than a 5th grader?" I'm not sure who would've been more eager to answer the question. The girl in my class, or the 5th grader.

Dear Professor

Thank you for introducing me to the term "featherless biped." I could not have come up with this on my own, no matter how long I would never try. Another great piece of outstanding information I will definitely need to know for the rest of my life. I can't wait to confuse my friends when referring to "that featherless biped I met the other night." This is sure to secure a lot of gentlemen callers. Thanks, professor!! You're the best! :)

The Smartest Girl In Class

I recently had the pleasure of sitting next to the smartest girl in class. She made it clear that she is omniscient and therefore already knew everything the professor has said/will be teaching. The girl behind her was baffled by this, and wanted to know her secrets of figuring out the mysteries of the classroom answers. Happily, the smartest girl in class turned around and amused her.

"How do I learn this material?" the girl behind the smartest girl in class asked.

"Well, in order to learn it, it's just one of those things where you either get it or you don't. And it's really easy once you get it. I'm sorry you don't get it, but I get it, so it's really easy for me. You just need to get it and that way you'll know it, and it'll be easy for you once you get it," the smartest girl in class replied.

Phew, thank goodness! Couldn't have done it without you, babe.